On
His Partial Deafness
for Dennis Sullivan (with apologies to John Milton)
My kids and close friends get annoyed with me!
Can you imagine?
They get annoyed with
me.
They with
me.
They pump up the volume
shake their heads
grimace
roll their eyes
look heavenward
then, with wrinkled brow
and an expulsion of air,
tell me to forget it.
It's not important!
Like I wanted this.
Like I get off on frustration.
Like I have this thing for hairshirts.
Like I've elected to have surgery
to switch from stereo to monaural.
OK, so I've stepped on a few toes in my time
refused occasionally to give someone the right of way
cut a few people off
flipped some the almighty bird
maybe even climbed over one or two or possibly three or four.
Who hasn't?
But was this really necessary?
Aren't the hammer toes enough?
The hammer toes and the nearsightedness?
The hammer toes and the nearsightedness and the postnasal drip?
Why this?
When there are so many other ways
to chastise a lapsed pilgrim -
like a hangnail perhaps
or a smidgen of intestinal distress
even a root canal!
Yeah, even a root canal
would be easier to swallow,
a tad more palatable.
But this?
Hobbling along on one ear
so it's like I'm hearing only half of what's said
if that!
I've become the resident expert on Closed Captioning
a speedier reader
a multitasker of pictures and words
annoyed when a film's vintage
predates the closed captioner's keyboard.
Maybe if I distance myself as the third person
à la Mr. John Milton
"On
His Blindness"
Who was he kidding?
On
His Blindness
His three wives?
I don't think so!
Yeah, maybe then I'll be able to sail through
Kubler-Ross's stages of loss -
and accept the fact
that the sausages frying in my left ear will never be done
that the appliance in my ear looks like a chewed-up circus peanut
that it makes me feel like I have swimmer's ear
or a massive head cold
or that I'm living in Seattle
or better yet London
or that I'm hearing sounds through a tin can
or a pillow
or ear muffs
or that I have a potato sticking out of my ear
and everyone's looking at it.
The fact that I can't hear my alarm clock though
when I sleep on my right side
isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Maybe I should assume a Buddhist perspective
and regard the glass as half-full
look at its bright side
an opportunity for growth
in that now
I can smile and nod at my supervisor's rants
walk past a panhandler without feeling guilty
overlook my kids' loud music
my neighbor's loud dog
my relatives' loud mouths
but mostly
bask in the knowledge that some lips are better to read
than a good poem.
|
When I Consider How My Light Is Spent by L. DeFoor |