1
His hands have turned into leaves
despite his advanced degrees
and his years on the lecture circuit
where college auditoriums welcome him
with handshakes phrased in the form of questions.
2
His iPad makes it happen,
informing the horticulturist's pub-crawling after-hours
where barkeeps
tight-lipped and loose-skinned
water his plants
and test his sobriety
as if their lives depended on it.
3
The horticulturist provides expert testimony
for the court stenographer's long fingers
while local cable stations
zoom in on the alleged parties
frolicking on the courthouse steps.
4
This is how it plays out
on those days when you least expect it.
Your number comes up.
But you've misplaced your ticket.
You begin searching through your papers,
emptying your pockets,
sprouting every excuse imaginable,
5
when suddenly the horticulturist appears,
his hands caked with mud,
his face soiled.
This is the least of your worries.
6
He offers the cutting edge in gardening tips
and in a weak moment you jot them down
and fax them to family and friends,
having received word from above
that you'll have some free time on the weekend
to spend in the garden
with a blue ribbon panel.
