Thirty-Two Short Stanzas about No One in Particular
1
He is quick to point out that he is not above
rolling up his sleeves and pitching in.
2
He once aspired to the position
of news anchor for a cruise line
having read somewhere that cruise ships
were in dire straits
without up-to-the-minute news.
3
He likes to walk to the farmer's market
to pick out a few pieces of fruit for lunch
4
and he's a whiz at juxtaposing garnishes
the texture of which fascinates him.
5
His forte is expert testimony on incidentals.
6
He welcomes technological progress whenever he can
and, on off days, thinks about the merits of fiber optic cable
7
though his penchant is for off-the-cuff commentary
on matters-at-hand.
8
He loves Satie, and gets carried away.
9
He can whistle in three-part harmony
and keep five balls in the air.
10
He reportedly sawed a woman in half
while drinking a glass of water.
11
He is awed by the Great Houdini
12
and spends hours with catalogs
of handcuffs and leg irons.
13
His room is an assemblage of mismatched chairs
from failed marriages
and other short-term investments.
14
By day, he inspects the city's little-known landmarks
jotting notes in a steno pad
with a disposable ballpoint.
15
He periodically consults an instruction manual.
16
Most evenings, he sits in the blue glare of the TV
stuffing olives with anchovies
waiting for a break in the action.
17
At bedtime, he reads the personals
with a highlighter and magnifying glass.
18
He keeps his favorite fetish locked in a closet.
19
He alternates stepping in and out
of his five o'clock shadow.
20
Despite his therapist's advice
he continues to spend time
with black and white photographs.
21
He reads into everything -
recipes, TV listings, the dog's bark.
22
We've told him it's unhealthy
that it can lead to a political appointment
23
but he read into that too
buttoning his button-down shirt
over his overcoat
reprimanding his trousers
in full view.
24
He once insinuated himself
in a hotel's Olympic-size pool
25
and later, while jotting down
the keynote speaker's address,
he was seen stuffing condiments
of all shapes and sizes
into his collapsible pockets.
26
He loves to fill notebooks with indecipherables.
27
His passion is the art of noise.
28
He plans to retire to a walled city
with underground labyrinths
inhabited by television personalities
posing as used car salesmen.
29
He enjoys contemplating austerity.
30
He often loses his place mid-sentence
and gives himself over to worry.
31
He routinely googles unknown quantities
32
and becomes animated
whenever he dials a wrong number.
|
Robert and Shana ParkeHarrison |