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Expected Gain

While I'm digging in the tunnel, the elves come with solutions.
          - Seymour Cray

You made the pilgrimage to Cray's tunnels
but the solutions didn't come
and now you're telling the world about simulations
standing at the curb lip-syncing an aria,
the one you carried on about
after seeing the opera
how it bathed you
and filled the emptiness -
the emptiness that was always underfoot
like a stray cat
tripping you up more than once
culminating though
for some strange reason
in merriment and laughter,
you arguing against
The Law of Small Numbers
insisting it was the end point that counted
trying to convince yourself as well.
You kept telling me
you're waiting for it to wear off
your voice catching
as if you wished to touch base
one more time.
You knew the path was obscured
by fellow pilgrims preoccupied with gear.
You finally opened it up
not only your life
but your living space
knocking down the wall
ripping out the carpet
sanding and sealing the floors.
I've got to hand it to you.
You pulled it off:
on clear days, you can even see the lighthouse
that long ago protected those who lived here.

Francesca Woodman